what is this reality con?



#1:32 and losing my grip. Or somehow just keeping it. The six turret roulette wheel rolls round and round - and which chamber lands where pretty much amounts to nada in the greater schema. Click, Click, Boom.

#2:I'm one of the lucky ones. Then again, luck is not necessarily good.

#3:I want to make my world as beautiful and as interesting as possible. Even half way or where ever I actually am on the journey towards that very goal (the long internal voyage towards an uncertain terra nova) - I find it impossible to converse about about the finer details with most people most of the time. I have a lot of weird and intense shit rattling about deep in here (crAnium bAckstAge) and I find its adequate verbal conveyance quite impossible-consequently half sketched dreams run amok, howling at whatever displaced the moon. Admittedly, this can be very funny-but I'd be in a lot of trouble if I told you what I was actually thinking. Really..............I would.

#4:If you've ever wondered whether you're normal..........its a pretty sure bet normal people don't ask that question. Weirdness's hymen is well and truly torn asunder by the mere posing of that particular question.

#5:I am evidently an alien (people refer back to your preferred etymological word horde).

#6:Christ I thought I'd be cruising on autopilot - well beyond the event horizon of this pervasive mindset as I approached the hallowed cusp of early middle age...........it was never my intention to still be the purveyor of high quality teen angst bullcrap during that point of my life where I find my first folicles turning a paler shade of polar bear.

But I is what I is.

(Can't go forward.
Can't go back.
Can't move sideways.
Can't see myself in a professional capacity
Can't face being an even more dropped out bum.

My liver won't take it.

The old realities are falling.

I'm haunted bad by real bad memories&the phosgene burn of AWOL acolytes leaves fading traces traces on the implacable declension of my minds eye's Kodak reel.

(Mr Kodak shot a photo. Mr Kodak shot a film. Mr Kodak shot himself)

I'd like to be the auteur of my own heroic personal narrative(s) rather than being the mere unconcious and unknowing spewer of someone/something elses - taking those thoughts to be my own and acting accordingly. But maybe that fantasy is my very own personal flavor of the viral affliction that afflicts us all?).

I can't really explain and I need somebody somewhere to understand.......

TV lies.

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1 week ago

“Sanity is a madness put to good uses; waking life is a dream controlled”
— George Santayana

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3 weeks ago

“I got interested in the class element of Batman: He’s a rich man who beats up poor people. It’s quite a bizarre mission to go out at night dressed as a bat and punch the hell out of junkies. And then he goes home and lives in this mansion. There’s an aspirational quality to him—he’s an outlaw and he can buy anything. He has a new Batmobile every movie. He’s very plutonian in the sense that he’s wealthy and also in the sense that he’s sexually deviant. Gayness is built into Batman. I’m not using gay in the pejorative sense, but Batman is very, very gay. There’s just no denying it. Obviously as a fictional character he’s intended to be heterosexual, but the basis of the whole concept is utterly gay. I think that’s why people like it. All these women fancy him and they all wear fetish clothes and jump around rooftops to get to him. He doesn’t care—he’s more interested in hanging out with the old guy and the kid”
— Grant Morrison

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1 month ago with 1 note

Tagged: hare krishna higher taste vegetarian unitarian

North Indian Style Potato and Cauliflower Curry…………… I got this recipe from the Hare Krishna tome ‘The Higher Taste’ which I picked up in a Romiley charity shop a few years back.  I always enjoy my conversations with Krishna monks.  I appear half receptive and I enjoy playing philosophical devil’s advocate.  As long as theres mutual respect……thats cool I think.  The Krishna conciousness movement seems to me to have a lot of positive aspects………..the vegetarianism, food distribution and the distribution of Bhaghvad Gita through western society probably make the world a better place.  On a personal level I’ve enjoyed discovering some damn tasty recipes and Govinda’s restaurant in London via my dealings with monks.  I’m too much of an incorrigable rationalist and a philosophical nihilist to ever accept any system of metaphysics…………..hell i’m pretty much sure that me and the world are illusions and my perception is real, in as much as delusion itself is real (real delusion).  People may have an inbuilt facility for bhakti(devotion) and maybe should use it more………..but thats a brain/structural thing and does not pre-suppose or necessitate a god…….. Sometimes I envy people who can believe in anything.  But it all seems ridiculous like all human agency and consequence……….To me it seems crazy that I even have a name and I have rights and responsibilities that all seem arbitary. Then again, what the hell do I know?  I’m a monkey with existential horror and an emo ego complex……..  If ever have kids i’ll try to bring them up broadly unitarian………..that is to say give them a broad humanitarian and scientific education and let them make up their own damn minds of how best to spend 70 odd years deluding themselves. Then again…………i have no plans to have kids whatsoever.  I’m selfish and I like the espresso hit and the grapefruit tsunami in the morning and the belgian beer last thing at night……..i’m along way away from the generative summit of a hierarchy of needs and i need little pleasures and much freedom just to get by without sinking (even deeper) into the quicksand of over-thought……………..

North Indian Style Potato and Cauliflower Curry……………

I got this recipe from the Hare Krishna tome ‘The Higher Taste’ which I picked up in a Romiley charity shop a few years back.  I always enjoy my conversations with Krishna monks.  I appear half receptive and I enjoy playing philosophical devil’s advocate.  As long as theres mutual respect……thats cool I think.  The Krishna conciousness movement seems to me to have a lot of positive aspects………..the vegetarianism, food distribution and the distribution of Bhaghvad Gita through western society probably make the world a better place.  On a personal level I’ve enjoyed discovering some damn tasty recipes and Govinda’s restaurant in London via my dealings with monks.  I’m too much of an incorrigable rationalist and a philosophical nihilist to ever accept any system of metaphysics…………..hell i’m pretty much sure that me and the world are illusions and my perception is real, in as much as delusion itself is real (real delusion).  People may have an inbuilt facility for bhakti(devotion) and maybe should use it more………..but thats a brain/structural thing and does not pre-suppose or necessitate a god……..

Sometimes I envy people who can believe in anything.  But it all seems ridiculous like all human agency and consequence……….To me it seems crazy that I even have a name and I have rights and responsibilities that all seem arbitary.

Then again, what the hell do I know?  I’m a monkey with existential horror and an emo ego complex…….. 

If ever have kids i’ll try to bring them up broadly unitarian………..that is to say give them a broad humanitarian and scientific education and let them make up their own damn minds of how best to spend 70 odd years deluding themselves.

Then again…………i have no plans to have kids whatsoever.  I’m selfish and I like the espresso hit and the grapefruit tsunami in the morning and the belgian beer last thing at night……..i’m along way away from the generative summit of a hierarchy of needs and i need little pleasures and much freedom just to get by without sinking (even deeper) into the quicksand of over-thought……………..

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1 month ago

“Sometimes I lives in the country
Sometimes I lives in town
Sometimes I haves a great notion
To jump into the river an’ drown”
— Goodnight Irene, Leadbelly

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1 month ago

“I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it.”
— John Stuart Mill

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1 month ago

Men Are - The Joey's ➔

another poem I did for English GCSE…………..

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1 month ago

Gutter Press - Paul Dehn ➔

I actually did do this for English GCSE………….

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1 month ago

Was gesagt werden muss - Gunter Grass ➔

This reminds of the kind of piece I’d get for English GCSE……………

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1 month ago

10 best american poems ➔

The Comments section is an education in itself…………….

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1 month ago

Mexican Loneliness - Jack Kerouac ➔

Great Poem, Great Site……………..